the seminar… the ending… the heartpain…

The seminar has ended and my heart feels like shit. I`m sitting here imn the computerroom of the hostel with Trina, trying to write something for this fooking blog. And i can’t do anything about it , but i really feel like crying. Ceren, Gulin, Ismail and many more left during the night. And it just felt like a fooking drainage. With everybody i cared about leaving, my heart lost another piece. I miss…
It’s fooked up that i feel like this after every seminar i go to. It probably has something to do with fooking trauma’s i got when i was younger… probably also with the bad relationshipthingy’s i have with my parents…
Hell… it’s just something fooked up.
I miss Ceren, Gulin and Ismail as hell… And i can’t explain why this all is…
it seems that those persons really went into my blood… just as on other occassions the whole Turkish crew, the Maltese bitches and so many other people did. And i’m totally not willing to say goodbye. I don’t wanna say goodbye>
It’s just fooked that i have to miss… it more and more seems to become the story of my life… i miss…
Crap!