It’s been a while now that you were out of my life.
Ad all this time I’ve kept thinking about you… you and me.
Sometimes there were happy memories.
Like the times we celebrated christmas when a was a little, little child.
At those times we were like a big happy family… you, me and my brothers.
Those times were the happiest times of my young life.
Or the times during the summer when I was really little.
You went cycling with me sitting in an orange chair behind you on your bike.
I still remember how happy and protected I felt at those occassions with the sun and the wind in my little face.
But sometimes there were also bad memories.
Like the time you totally freaked out when I ate a waffle and made the kitchen dirty. You yelled at me that I wasn’t your son, but I was the son of my father with his evil caracter.
Or like the time that I was homeless because my father kicked me out of his house and I called in total despair. Just to get a roof over my head for a night. And you just said that there was no room in your house and in your heart for me.
For years now I felt like an orphin;
with no mother or father, at least not the loving types.
I felt insecure, not knowing if I was ever able to give to someone because I felt that I had never experienced love when I was younger.
I felt rejected, from both you and my father.
Both blaiming me that I was the son of the other… while I am the son of both of you.
But you didn’t hear me… you refussed to talk to me.
And now I see you lying there.
With all those tubes sticking in your body.
That awfull beep-beepsound on the background.
Your eyes closed.
Your face pale like a dead body.
The only thing I can say now is that I love you.
For one odd reason my blood loves your blood.
I can only hope that you one day will return my love.
I’ll b waiting here.
I’ll be waiting here in that ugly green seat next to your bed.