Thoughts indefined 2 !

for the 3th week now i’m looking for plaintickets to go to Turkey…
and as always when i’m nearly on the edge of a breakdown… I get crazy Ideas…
But for the moment these ideas don’t seem crazy to me… and I recall… For The Moment!
I was wandering how it would be If I just left Belgium… and just leave for the adventure … and stay a year or a half year in Turkey… or Malta… or Spain… or even Italy…
I feel it in me that i’m being sick and tired of Belgium… there’s no hope for me… at least not for the moment… and I don’t want to keep struggling … I don’t want to fight for a long lost cause…
I want to live a free life… a Life full of adventures… adventures that can give me back my creativity…
cause that’s a big problem… I think i’m having a writers-block or something like that 😦

How would it be?
Me just let loose to the world…
Just leaving my past for yet another time… and this time for sure…

and yes i know…
it’s not obvious to just leave Belgium like that *snap*…
how can i survive?
how can i provide myself with food and housing?
What about language? I can barly handle myself in English and french… let not say Italian, Spanish or Turkish… 😦

but it all seems very attractive to me…

and now i’m thinking about all this it strucks me…
it’s the Question i’ve been asking myself since i sat down in the Parc of Gaudi in Barcelona…
Do i want to be a writer or … just continue living here an becoming an educator?

what will it be?
I keep saying: let time bring the sollution…
but will it bring that?
should i just not make a decision and live by it without looking back?

aaaaaaaaaaaarg! more questions every time…

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